For My 100th Post - Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

Happy Friday everyone! This isn't my usual fashion/home/music/art post, but I have a few things to share today. This is my 100th post here on AWNL!! Wow. Did I seriously find 100 things worth talking about since October of last year? I know I inherited my mother's gift for gab and while they may not have all been "worthy" topics, I've had a great time writing about what inspires me and sharing the things I love. To all of you - those who have been here since the beginning and those who may have stopped by via Google, Pintrest or Twitter, thank you for your readership and support. Having people to talk to is what makes blogging so fulfilling and I'm grateful for every single person who spends a few minutes of their day here with me.

Today, I'm participating in a "cocktail party" of sorts, orchestrated by Theresa over at Inspiration Cooperative. This party is really a movement (started by EZ at Creature Comforts) that's been rippling through the blogger community over the last couple of months. The title: Things I'm Afraid To Tell You. In a world of beautiful imagery, perfect interiors and designer everything, its easy to think that bloggers practice what they preach. I know I always thought that if someone is writing about a $2,000 handbag, they must own at least a couple of the same. But what I've discovered though this wonderful group of bloggers is that is certainly not the case. Behind each blog, there is a person who has flaws, fears and challenges to overcome and their "real life" is usually far removed from the things they blog about. So in that spirit of full disclosure and honesty, here we go:

1.  I can't seem to finish what I start: My daughter's 1st year photo album only made it to October 2010 (she was born in March of the same year), I got about 40% through my closet spring clean and now its almost summer, I've got 5 pieces of furniture in my garage, all of which I keep meaning to refurbish, unused Groupons, blank canvases, unframed art work, half-completed craft projects. You name it and I've probably started it. I like to attribute it to my thirst for knowledge and my many, many varied interests, but however I try and spin it, the fact remains I start a lot of things, but seem to finish few. Sometimes its a factor of time and other times I just lose interest, but that bag in the downstairs closet with the 15 newborn onesies I bought to start my embroidered onesie business on Etsy (it was during maternity leave and you moms all know how crazy we can get post-birth) is another great example. At work, I'm focused, efficient, and great at checking things off my lists, but at home, it's a whole other ball game.

2.  I wish I wasn't messy, but I am.  Take a survey of my sorority roomies and each one can tell you about "the thing" that lived at the end of my top bunk. Deserving of a name, "the thing" referred to the pile of yoga pants, jeans, satin button-ups, dance team uniforms, unmentionables, and UCLA hoodie sweatshirts that regularly collected on my bed and sometimes spilled onto the floor. It was usually at least a week (sometimes two) before I found a free afternoon to handle it, only to begin again the next day. Sharing a house with a spouse and toddler makes things even more dicey on the cleaning front and I still struggle with it. "The thing" still exists, but now lives in my closet where I can shut the door and contain it for as long as I need to.

3. I don't want to judge, but I do. Why we women are so hard on each other, I'll never fully understand, but it seems to be in my DNA to judge, even if nothing ever comes out of my mouth. From the woman on the cover of that recent Time magazine (that's a conversation that should include cocktails), to the woman ahead of me in line at Starbucks whose 2 year-old picked up every item in the serve yourself refrigerator (did I mention he was coughing like crazy too!), and the woman in the courthouse elevator sporting her daily uniform of mini-skirts and sky-high platforms. I judged them all in my head and discussed these lovely ladies with anyone who would listen.

4. I used to spend more than I made. At my law school orientation they warned us - if you live like a lawyer when you're a law student, you'll live like a law student when you're a lawyer. Sadly, their sage advice went in one ear and out the other and I lived a very comfortable life during my 3 years of grad school. I wasn't totally shocked when those trips to Saks, delicious La Jolla sushi and rounds of drinks for friends caught up with me around the time of graduation and I found myself in some serious debt. But there's a happy ending to this story - with the help of my then boyfriend (now husband), a lot of determination, and a stay-away order from major department stores and South Coast Plaza, I paid it all off and have been debt free ever since (aside from my student loans of course).

5.  I struggle to make it all work. A few years ago, I remember my sister telling me about two editors she worked with in New York. She described them as the two chicest moms she knew. They worked full-time, had impeccable style and taste, spent weekends at the park with their kids, painted, blogged, volunteered at school, hosted incredible dinner parties and worked-out on a regular basis.  I decided early on that when I became a mom, I would be just like them. But here I am, 2 years into motherhood, and I'm struggling to get the laundry done, the dry cleaning picked-up, and some semblance of dinner on the table.  That effortless chic look is so not happening these days and I haven't hosted a dinner party in a year. I'm constantly forgetting appointments, birthdays and to-do's on my lists and have left my keys in the front door, overnight, on several occasions. There never seems to be enough time to get everything done and I always feel I'm failing at a couple things on any given day. Did I mention I haven't worked out in almost a month?

Well, there are 5 things I'm afraid to tell just about everyone and now I've committed them to paper. Have a great holiday weekend! I'll be cleaning my closet, refurbishing furniture and hitting the gym. Just kidding.