Gifts For The Mothers In Your Life

Photograph of Natalia Vodianova and her daughter, Vogue.  

I remember celebrating Mother's Day as a child - my sister, brother and I would usually go to our local mall with my dad the day before. As we left we always told my mom "we have something we have to do, but YOU can't come with us." We wanted my mom to know that we were trying to plan and do something for her for once - the woman who made sure all 3 of us had individually labeled lunches every morning, went to school with the latest Esprit bag and Guess jeans, got to dance classes and baseball games on time, who made 10:00 p.m. runs to the pharmacy for Robitussin and paint for last minute science projects, and who volunteered to lead our Girl Scout troop and pick-up half the cheerleading team for early morning practices.  
 Cut to 2013 - here I am, now a mother myself, and my mom is still taking care of me. She still answers my phone calls with "How's my baby girl?", brings me Robitussin when she hears my nasaly cough over the phone, makes sure I have the perfect dress to wear to a friend's wedding, and goes to the grocery store when she discovers my refrigerator is bare. In my new role as a mother, living a crazy, busy life, I sometimes feel like I'm responsible for it all and the term "no rest for the weary" has become my new mantra (Mothers? Am I right?) What I truly appreciate is my mom still treating me like her child and her daughter.  It's wonderful to know that she's still there to take care of me and on Sunday I'll be celebrating her. 

Telling your mother how much you love and appreciate her is always the best gift you can give, but here are a few small things to say thank you and hopefully, make her smile. 

Eva Bracelet, $67, cleobella.com.

I love this bracelet for its simplicity and pops of beautiful color. My mom wears a lot of ethnic-inspired jewelry and this piece is unique, but still incredibly chic. 

Galvanized Window Planters, $19.95-$29.95, williams-sonoma.com. 

A window box full of herbs not only adds life and color to the kitchen, it's a constant inspiration to get cooking. 

Double-Tassel Necklace, $68, jcrew.com. 

This versatile necklace will go with just about everything in my mom's closet and the tassel detail reminds me of one she had when I was a kid. 

Tavira Ceramic Platter, $31.96, crateandbarrel.com. 

For the mothers who love to entertain, this platter is perfect for serving appetizers at spring and summer parties. 

Martha Stewart's Living The Good Life, $17, amazon.com. 

Martha's latest book was just released on April 23rd and is full of tips, plans, recipes and insight into living a good, LONG, life. 

James Placemat, Set of 6, $48, pacificandrose.com. 

My mom is constantly changing her place mats and this set caught my eye when I visited Pacific and Rose's boutique at the Long Beach Flea Market last month. 

Best Mom Card, $4.50, 1canoe2 on etsy.com. 

This year, I ordered these fab cards from 1 Canoe 2 on Etsy. Aren't they perfect?! 

Have a great week and Happy Mother's Day everyone! 

How My Neighborhood Lululemon Mom Got Me Thinking About "The Feminine Mistake."

Image here.

It all started with "Lululemon girl," a nickname I gave to a neighborhood mom several months ago. She is blond, tan, long and lean, with great sunglasses, and a European stroller.  She power walks every morning down the street near my house and is always in head-to-toe, perfectly coordinated, Lululemon workout outfits.  She looks young, energetic, and happy in a bubbly, cheerleader sort of way.

I first spotted her on a particularly stressful morning. I was running late to work after a night of sleep interrupted several times by my 2 year-old calling for "mamma." As I got into the car, my mind was racing about the trial I was about to start, domestic to-do's, how I would solve the daily dinner crisis (Trader Joe's frozen pizza?), and whether I'd make it home in time to take my daughter to swim class. As I pulled out of the driveway I noticed I had no gas and had forgotten my lunch (again!). Ugh!

As she power-walked through the cross-walk in front of me, I found myself wishing that I could trade places with her.  How easy her life looked in that moment - casually pushing an infant on an 8:15 a.m. morning walk. Clearly she didn't have a traditional 9 to 5, didn't wear a suit to work every day, wasn't up late at night preparing closing arguments or scrambling to make child-care arrangements. I also assumed (because I have a vivid imagination when I'm in self-pity mode) she went home to her gorgeous 4,000 square foot home where she would prepare a juicer-made breakfast, go to her private pilates session, run some errands, and spend a few hours at the beach with her daughter, before coming home to whip up dinner, courtesy of Ina's latest cookbook.

How wonderful would it be if the most pressing question on my daily agenda was "What shall we do today?" Beach? Maybe Pretend City? How about the Discovery Museum?  By the time I got to the freeway, my feelings had evolved - from being envious of her, to feeling sorry for myself.  Why did life have to be so hard? Why couldn't I be fancy-free like Lululemon girl? Maybe this whole career thing was totally overrated. Oh, poor me. Poor, poor me.

Later that week, I happened to squeeze in a late-night episode of The Conversation, in which Mrs. de Cadenet interviewed Leslie Bennetts, a contributing writer to Vanity Fair and the woman tasked with interviewing just about every A-list celebrity on VF's cover. She was talking about balancing work and career, and about how she felt it vitally important to continue to work, pursue her dreams, and retain her financial viability, even after she had children and a husband. She also mentioned she had written a book called "The Feminine Mistake," which questioned whether us moms were giving up too much by catapulting our careers in the name of family. Her book was in my Amazon cart within the hour and on my doorstep two days later.

The verdict: while Bennett is a persistent and unwavering advocate of the working-moms of the world and often makes her case by chronicling numerous stories of stay-at-home moms who, faced with divorce, death, or financial crisis, ended up in some pretty tragic situations, the book contains insightful food for thought, whether you are climbing the corporate ladder or staying home with the kids. She references numerous studies and surveys relating to women in the workplace, from Harvard MBA's (of the women from the classes of '81, '86 and '91 who had children, only 38% were working full-time), to research that determined children with working mothers are just as successful scholastically as those kids whose moms stay home. She re-tells her conversations with former attorneys, executives and businesswomen, all who gave up their careers to stay-at-home and many of whom now regret it.  What I found most valuable in her message was an encouraging voice that while it will often be tough, sometimes challenging and occasionally overwhelming, there are millions of women juggling work and family, and doing it with grace, style and a determination to succeed.  While I may have been feeling like the only mom in my neighborhood heading out the door at 7:30 a.m. with coffee and briefcase in hand, Bennett's book was a poignant reminder that I'm not on an island here and that I should feel fortunate to have a career I love and a husband who is supportive of my professional pursuits. 10 pages in, my "woe-is-me" moment was history.

Just as I finished Bennetts' book, the conversation about working-moms got heated last month when The Atlantic published an article by a former U.S. State Department director entitled "Why Women Still Can't Have It All." If you haven't read it, I highly recommend that you do. While I can identify with many of the challenges that come with balancing work and family, I disagree with her ultimate conclusion that we can't have it all. I think the question is: what does having it all look like?

Making the decision to have a family and a full-time career is hard and without question requires sacrifice, both professionally and personally. However, I think it is up to us to decide what "having it all" looks like, and then go after it with everything we've got.  Do I love being a working mom?  Not always.  And as long as Lululemon girl keeps going on her walks, I will still have moments that I wish we could trade places. But there are many more good days than bad and the lingering summer sunshine means I can get home from work, take my daughter to the park, cook a great dinner, eat alfresco in the backyard, and maybe throw in a load of laundry, all before she goes to bed. And for me, at this moment, that is what "having it all" looks like.

What do you think? Was your choice to work or stay-home an easy one? What does having it all look like to you?

For My 100th Post - Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

Happy Friday everyone! This isn't my usual fashion/home/music/art post, but I have a few things to share today. This is my 100th post here on AWNL!! Wow. Did I seriously find 100 things worth talking about since October of last year? I know I inherited my mother's gift for gab and while they may not have all been "worthy" topics, I've had a great time writing about what inspires me and sharing the things I love. To all of you - those who have been here since the beginning and those who may have stopped by via Google, Pintrest or Twitter, thank you for your readership and support. Having people to talk to is what makes blogging so fulfilling and I'm grateful for every single person who spends a few minutes of their day here with me.

Today, I'm participating in a "cocktail party" of sorts, orchestrated by Theresa over at Inspiration Cooperative. This party is really a movement (started by EZ at Creature Comforts) that's been rippling through the blogger community over the last couple of months. The title: Things I'm Afraid To Tell You. In a world of beautiful imagery, perfect interiors and designer everything, its easy to think that bloggers practice what they preach. I know I always thought that if someone is writing about a $2,000 handbag, they must own at least a couple of the same. But what I've discovered though this wonderful group of bloggers is that is certainly not the case. Behind each blog, there is a person who has flaws, fears and challenges to overcome and their "real life" is usually far removed from the things they blog about. So in that spirit of full disclosure and honesty, here we go:

1.  I can't seem to finish what I start: My daughter's 1st year photo album only made it to October 2010 (she was born in March of the same year), I got about 40% through my closet spring clean and now its almost summer, I've got 5 pieces of furniture in my garage, all of which I keep meaning to refurbish, unused Groupons, blank canvases, unframed art work, half-completed craft projects. You name it and I've probably started it. I like to attribute it to my thirst for knowledge and my many, many varied interests, but however I try and spin it, the fact remains I start a lot of things, but seem to finish few. Sometimes its a factor of time and other times I just lose interest, but that bag in the downstairs closet with the 15 newborn onesies I bought to start my embroidered onesie business on Etsy (it was during maternity leave and you moms all know how crazy we can get post-birth) is another great example. At work, I'm focused, efficient, and great at checking things off my lists, but at home, it's a whole other ball game.

2.  I wish I wasn't messy, but I am.  Take a survey of my sorority roomies and each one can tell you about "the thing" that lived at the end of my top bunk. Deserving of a name, "the thing" referred to the pile of yoga pants, jeans, satin button-ups, dance team uniforms, unmentionables, and UCLA hoodie sweatshirts that regularly collected on my bed and sometimes spilled onto the floor. It was usually at least a week (sometimes two) before I found a free afternoon to handle it, only to begin again the next day. Sharing a house with a spouse and toddler makes things even more dicey on the cleaning front and I still struggle with it. "The thing" still exists, but now lives in my closet where I can shut the door and contain it for as long as I need to.

3. I don't want to judge, but I do. Why we women are so hard on each other, I'll never fully understand, but it seems to be in my DNA to judge, even if nothing ever comes out of my mouth. From the woman on the cover of that recent Time magazine (that's a conversation that should include cocktails), to the woman ahead of me in line at Starbucks whose 2 year-old picked up every item in the serve yourself refrigerator (did I mention he was coughing like crazy too!), and the woman in the courthouse elevator sporting her daily uniform of mini-skirts and sky-high platforms. I judged them all in my head and discussed these lovely ladies with anyone who would listen.

4. I used to spend more than I made. At my law school orientation they warned us - if you live like a lawyer when you're a law student, you'll live like a law student when you're a lawyer. Sadly, their sage advice went in one ear and out the other and I lived a very comfortable life during my 3 years of grad school. I wasn't totally shocked when those trips to Saks, delicious La Jolla sushi and rounds of drinks for friends caught up with me around the time of graduation and I found myself in some serious debt. But there's a happy ending to this story - with the help of my then boyfriend (now husband), a lot of determination, and a stay-away order from major department stores and South Coast Plaza, I paid it all off and have been debt free ever since (aside from my student loans of course).

5.  I struggle to make it all work. A few years ago, I remember my sister telling me about two editors she worked with in New York. She described them as the two chicest moms she knew. They worked full-time, had impeccable style and taste, spent weekends at the park with their kids, painted, blogged, volunteered at school, hosted incredible dinner parties and worked-out on a regular basis.  I decided early on that when I became a mom, I would be just like them. But here I am, 2 years into motherhood, and I'm struggling to get the laundry done, the dry cleaning picked-up, and some semblance of dinner on the table.  That effortless chic look is so not happening these days and I haven't hosted a dinner party in a year. I'm constantly forgetting appointments, birthdays and to-do's on my lists and have left my keys in the front door, overnight, on several occasions. There never seems to be enough time to get everything done and I always feel I'm failing at a couple things on any given day. Did I mention I haven't worked out in almost a month?

Well, there are 5 things I'm afraid to tell just about everyone and now I've committed them to paper. Have a great holiday weekend! I'll be cleaning my closet, refurbishing furniture and hitting the gym. Just kidding.